Staight Men Don’t Lingo #1

14 Sep

Here at Straight Men Don’t, we have our language. We know it fluently. We don’t expect you to know it much at all. And we hardly give a shit.

But seriously, most of the lingo is pretty self explanatory. Also, if you know what the majority of our abrevs are, chances are, you’re either a woman or #not straight.

Are you bending over for me? Don't mind if I do...

First up? DTB, also known as Down to Bend. This is a riff from the great abrev DTF, and it literally refers to a straight man who would, under special circumstances, bend it over and let you stick it in. Once you’ve found your DTB straight man, do not let him go. He’s the holy fucking grail of straight men.

While some guys who fall under the straight men don’t paradigm will occasionally let you kiss the tip or stroke it out, a guy who is down to bend has given up all hope of appearing straight to you again. He knows he’s lost. He also knows you won’t tell his bros, because to you being with someone everyone else thinks is straight has been your goal since you did your first French braid on your sister’s Barbie Doll.

Here at Straight Men Don’t, we consider a DTB boi to be the ultimate goal. The ultimate unicorn… they’re rare, but they’re out there.


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