…Sex and the City

15 Sep

I was once talking to a girlfriend of mine who swore that her boyfriend loved watching Sex and the City with her. He found the women “funny” and the way they talked about men and sex “witty” and “realistic“. And while we find the show to possess these qualities, we don’t expect a straight man to do the same.

Why? Because at it’s epicenter SATC goes against every fundamental reason why straight men watch television.

No hot women. No one beating the shit out of each other.

No hot women? What?!?! What about Charlotte?

Charlotte’s pretty, sure. But she lacks a definite ‘I want to bone you‘ quality that draws men to shows like Mad Men. Christina Hendricks? Hell yeah!

Not to mention the fact that half the dialogue is about male genitalia and/or fashion designers. Straight men don’t do designers. Ask Elle Woods… she won an entire legal case around that theory, so clearly it’s a fact.

Somewhere out there, #Ryan Seacrest is wondering if Carrie's Chanel suit will fit him. Bet on it.

Let’s also not forget that the show doesn’t paint straight bros in the best light. Basically, it says you can grow up to be rich, successful, and debonair, and you’ll still end up punching out a Russian ballerina because he stole your favorite horse and moved her to Paris. (Then there’s the string of straight dudes that get dumped… and the one who has a testicle removed). A true straight man would find the show offensive on so many levels.

If a straight bro is watching SATC with his girlfriend, he’s at least considering going #DTB; one or two #cosmos and he’s definitely flippable. If he’s watching it by himself… well, sweetheart your boyfriend is now friends with Dorothy and almost begging a str8 boi to turn him sideways.

Are men really like shoes, Carrie would ask pensively while plucking away at her Mac… maybe. But I’ve never seen a straight shoe in my life, so I’ll give her that…

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2 Responses to “…Sex and the City”

  1. therealbryon-or gay sex and the city September 17, 2011 at 1:00 pm #

    lol.. brilliantly written! Cheers. I am a massive fan of SATC, and even Mr. Str8 has yet to watch an entire episode, lest a movie. (althougth, he gets a kick out watching Liza in #2, and the male nudity. I lose him at characters chatting fashion.)
    You are right, throw a boa on that BF and call him Matilda Madbottom.

    • straightmendont September 17, 2011 at 2:07 pm #

      Bryon, congrats on snagging what sounds like a truly str8 bro. We’re assuming since you’re still dating him, he’s definitely #DTB. Of course it’s none of our business… we’re just proud of any guy that achieves the Holy Grail.

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