Straight Men Don’t Lingo #2

17 Sep

Here at straight men don’t we’re often asked to clarify what the fuck we’re talking about. Why? Because some peeps don’t know how to speak fag fluently (if you know what movie that quote is from, you’re #so not straight).

Lesson two in SMD Lingo? Flippable. No we’re not talking about Lisa Rinna’s twin brother from Flipping Out!

What the hell does flippable mean? Simply put, it refers to a straight bro who could go either way. Maybe we’re convinced the straight bro is gay because he watches #Sex and the City, orders #Cosmos, and wears #Man capris on the weekend. We haven’t boned him yet, and he hasn’t let us kiss the tip, but until the jury comes back with a verdict, we’re filing him under flippable.

One, two, three... Flip!

Where does the phrase come from? Easy street. It comes from the act of flipping someone from straight to gay. There’s no hidden subtext or witty origin. Imagine flipping a pancake over. Now imagine flipping your straight dude over. Same exact thing!

Flippable guys are like str8 bois in training. They haven’t stepped foot out of the closet yet, but the keyword there is yet. There’s hope. Keep it alive. But like any flippable item, if you turn it too soon, you get a hot sticky mess. Wait for your flippable guy to fully maturize before you go in with your spatula. Trust us.

Also, don’t be fooled. Just because a straight dude does some of the things on the list, doesn’t necessarily make him flippable. Some guys watch #Grey’s Anatomy with their girlfriends. He might be #tan accidentally, from playing frat frisbee or changing the oil in a car.

But the more #straight men don’t violations he violates, the more flippable he becomes. It’s simple math really. 1 + 1 = Down to Bend. Get it? Got it? Good.

P.S. Don’t tell a guy OR his girlfriend you think he’s flippable. There’s no better way to set your stalking back a couple of months and send scurrying back into the deep dark closet. Seriously.

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2 Responses to “Straight Men Don’t Lingo #2”

  1. therealbryon-or gay sex and the city September 17, 2011 at 3:10 pm #

    so very funny! Suggestion: murses aka man bags…DTB??…

    • straightmendont September 17, 2011 at 4:39 pm #

      DTB equals Down to Bend… as in over. There’s no greater proof that your straight dude is actually a str8 boi than him being DTB.

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